The 10 most common causes of household disagreements

1. Not fairly splitting the responsibilities of cleaning the house

An unfair split of cleaning responsibilities ranks as the most common cause of household disagreements overall. More specifically, it’s also the most frequent reason for disagreements with a partner (23.5%), mother (12.3%), husband (21.5%), sister (14.8%), grandma (14%) and female housemate (15.2%).

When asked why they have disagreements with a member of the household over this issue, the most common answers people gave were “they need to do their fair share of this” (23.7%), and “it creates more work for me” (23.2%).

2. Too little cleaning being done in the house

It seems cleaning is a very controversial issue in most households, as too little cleaning ranks as the second most common cause of disagreements.

It’s most likely to lead to arguments with a child or children (22.6%), husband (20.9%) or partner (21.2%), with “I don’t like living in a dirty home” (26.6%) and “it creates more work for me” (21.1%) given as the top reasons.

3. Not turning lights off when leaving a room

Failing to turn off the lights when leaving a room is a sore spot for many of us, with increased electricity bills making us particularly conscious of our energy use. Our survey found that children (29.2%) are the most common culprits of this. People we surveyed pointed out that this issue creates more work for them (17.9%) and makes them uncomfortable(16.8%).

4. Not flushing the toilet

Discovering that someone forgot to flush the toilet is a nasty surprise, so it’s understandable that people most commonly clash about it due to not wanting to live in a dirty home (35.6%) and feeling uncomfortable (17%).

It’s the number one cause of disputes with a grandad (14.6%), and is also common with children (25%).

5. Leaving appliances on, such as straighteners and washing machines

Leaving appliances – such as hair straighteners or a washing machine – turned on is the fifth most common cause of household disagreements overall, and the most common with a brother (15.2%) and wife (14.4%).

Over a third (35.9%) of people reported disputes about this due to it being a fire hazard, which is a valid concern – particularly for appliances that get very hot, like hair straighteners. 9.5% also said they had a disagreement about this as it could invalidate home insurance.

6. Not washing the dishes

Washing up isn’t much fun for anyone, but putting it off can often spark conflict. This is the most common source of disagreements with a male housemate (13.5%) specifically, and is also common with a partner (16.2%) and children (15%).

23.2% of people complained that this creates more work for them, and 19.8% said they just don't like living in a dirty home.

7. Not being fair with splitting laundry responsibilities

Not shouldering your fair share of laundry responsibilities can frequently spell out issues.

It’s most likely to lead to disagreements with a grandma (12.6%), partner (12.6%) or sister (12.4%) – usually because they’re “not doing their fair share” (21.5%), and it “creates more work for others” (19.8%).

8. Cleaning schedule

This is the third time cleaning has shown up on the list, so it’s clearly something many of us struggle with. Creating a cleaning schedule can be a great way to make sure the house stays spotless – but only if everyone sticks to it.

We found that disagreements over cleaning schedules are most common with a partner (13.1%), wife (11.9%) or sister (11.3%), with 20.6% of people listing dislike for a dirty home as the reason.

9. Not putting dishes in the dishwasher

Having a dishwasher might help avoid disputes over who does the washing up, but it creates its own problems when people forget to load the dishes into it.

Children (12.2%), male housemates (11.1%) and partners (10.8%) are the people we tend to clash with the most about this, and it’s usually because it creates more work for us to deal with (26.5%).

10. Watering plants too much (including indoor plants, garden and window boxes)

You might expect that forgetting to water plants would be more of a problem, but actually, it’s watering plants too much that ranks as the 10th most common cause of household disagreements. It’s most likely to lead to bickering with a grandad (14.6%), grandma (13.5%) or sister (11.3%).

The most common reason for this causing a disagreement is that it can kill the plants (19.6%) – which is true. Overwatering can be just as harmful as underwatering, so make sure you know how much water your plants need if you want to avoid a disagreement.

The most common people to have a household disagreement with

As well as identifying all the most common causes of household disagreements, our survey also revealed the most common culprits we tend to disagree with the most.

Children come top of the list, with a quarter (24.8%) of people admitting they’re more likely to disagree with their children than anyone else in the household. Disagreements with them happen on average 4.2 times per week, which adds up to 201.2 times per year. That means parents typically have disagreements with their children on more than half (55%) of the days in a year.

Just under a quarter (23.9%) of people said they are most likely to disagree with their husband, although the average number of disputes with a husband is just under 3 per week, which is the lowest number on the list. On the other hand, only 12.5% of people named their wife as the person they’re most likely to have a dispute with, but these disputes occur slightly more frequently at an average of 3.2 times per week.

22% also listed their partner, with an average of 3 disagreements per week.

Although fewer than 1% of people named their grandmother or grandfather as the most likely culprit, those people disagree with their grandparents an average of around 15 times per month – which is second only to the amount of time people spend arguing with their children.