If Rolls Royce Made Other Vehicles

Rolls-Royce is the marque par excellence in the world of car manufacturing, so much so that it’s now used to describe anything that’s unparalleled in its field, such as the Rolls-Royce of laptops or the Rolls-Royce of pasta makers.

The car manufacturer has stuck diligently to what it does best – building glorious saloon cars and coupés – with the exception being its recent creation of the world’s most expensive SUV, the Cullinan.  But what would happen if the company decided to become the Rolls-Royce of other categories?

Well, curiosity has got the better of us, so we’ve decided to imagine the seriously awesome minivans, pick-ups and hatchbacks Rolls-Royce could develop if they wanted to.

1. Rolls-Royce 4x4

If you want an off-road beast that you know will be able to pull itself, and anything else, out of a five-foot sludge hole in a monsoon, then Rolls-Royce would be the company to make it. Their sturdiness is renowned and you can expect shocks and 32-inch tyres that make a mountain pass feel like a car park. However, it’s the massive 563bhp, 6.75L V12 engine that’s likely to be under the bonnet that would make off-roaders weak at the knees. With an on-board mini-fridge as standard, taking part in rescue missions would be a stroll in the park.

2. Rolls-Royce crossover

So, the dilemma is… You want a new Rolls-Royce but worry that an SUV would be too big – physically and socially – for your town. Well, the solution’s simple, get a Rolls-Royce crossover. With smooth handling, a smaller turning circle than your average Roller and natural grain leather seats, a crossover would be the perfect luxurious runabout for those who don’t want to make a fuss, or crush smaller cars, when heading to the local shop for bread and milk.

3. Rolls-Royce classic sports car

Apart from five-star opulence, champagne flute holders and hardwood inlays, one of the main reasons why Rolls-Royce are favoured by royalty is that they closely resemble a military-grade armoured car (unsurprising, considering they created armoured cars during the First World War that were still in use during World War 2). What we’d like to know is how they’d look like if they went the route of a 1970s’ long-nosed Lincoln – all luxury with no concern for looking conspicuous. No doubt the extra engine room would allow for at least a twin-turbo V12, making it an easy fit for the millionaire’s drag circuit too.

4. Rolls-Royce minivan

Minivans often get a bad rap but, apart from their ‘cool’ period when The A-Team were on the run for a crime they didn’t commit, they’re almost universally used to ferry armies of kids between football practice and McDonald’s.

Until now that is. A Rolls-Royce minivan would have a cinema, Wi-Fi and a rear-opening ‘recreation module’ to fit everything you need to entertain the kids of today. A drive-feel like floating on a cloud, despite hauling around three tons of machine, would make it worlds apart from any standard minivan.

5. Rolls-Royce lorry

Speaking of hauling things around, ever wonder what would happen if Eddie Stobart had been landed gentry? Well, we have and we’ve come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t have stopped him setting up his haulage company – but he might have needed a more aristocratic-looking lorry. Just imagine what kind of pulling power Rolls-Royce could deliver if they were building a 14L engine, focusing on delivering 2,000+ lb-ft of torque rather than bhp. The noise alone would get buildings rumbling and hearts pumping.

6. Rolls-Royce pickup truck

Pickups are the go-to motor for hard-working, high-viz-wearing, self-made professionals. It’s a vehicle that doubles as an ultra-functional, no-nonsense status symbol, which you might think is the opposite of Rolls-Royce, but we beg to differ. Rolls-Royce is everything that’s great about British engineering; reliability, class and history, and they’ve always worked hard to be the best.

So, where some might see RR-monogrammed, hand-stitched headrests as unnecessary frill, we see attention to detail; where they see lambs’ wool floor mats as over-the-top, we see necessary comfort after a hard day’s slogging. The fact is, if you’re going out on a job, a Rolls-Royce is a pick-up you know you could rely on to get you there – in style.

7. Rolls-Royce hatchback

What about the normal people, you ask? Well, there’s a Rolls-Royce for them too, featuring the ever-present, backwards-opening coach doors, small but classy 14-inch alloys and a top-of-the-range, Silver Satin bonnet finish. You’d still have that famous ‘Parthenon’ grille to show you mean business, but probably without a 5-litre+ engine that wakes the whole estate at 6am when you head off on your daily commute.

8. Rolls-Royce hover car

Although the aircraft engine and car maker divisions at Rolls-Royce split in the 70s, the age of flying cars would be the perfect time to get them back together. While it might replace the RR-embossed 22-inch alloys with jet boosters for take-off, the hover car would still have the Spirit of Ecstasy (its bonnet ornament) – except now she’d really be flying.

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